Sunday, June 03, 2007

Inner Sanctum Sunday...

I read on someone's blog the other day that she didn't like blogs where people didn't reveal any personal information. I realized that I have been avoiding that lately. I have no idea who even reads my blog...
So here's some dirt...
I wronged someone. I, ultimately, wronged a few people, but was faced with this person in particular last night...her best friend, anyway. It was such an awful feeling...knowing that this person hates me because of something that I (inadvertently?) did to her best friend. What emotion did I feel? Embarrassed? Ashamed? Humbled?
It was an exercise for me...I am trying so hard to follow my heart and do what's right for me and my family. I vow to not let this bother me. I know I can't make it right. I do not owe this woman an apology nor do I really care what she thinks of me. But...I do what care what others think. In general, I want people to think, no, KNOW that I am, indeed, a good person.
I just mess up every once in awhile.

On the same lines, but a bit different...I wrote an "unsent letter" the other day. It felt really freeing to write words that the recipient would never read. I so wanted to send the letter...but what I realized is that the more I thought about sending it, the more I worried about the content. I promised myself that I would not send it. It's a letter from deep in my heart that maybe no one will ever read...but it was good for me to write it.
I then designed a "nurture" journal and put my unsent letter inside. We'll see what else goes in there.
Do I burn it before I die?

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