Friday, October 02, 2009

Taking a Breath...

I have so many thoughts...too many to get down on this electronic "paper" right now...but wanted to share a great experience I had yesterday...

I was driving home from Portland with Elvia in the car. I was in the passing lane, not dilly-dallying, but actually passing someone. This young, blond woman in an older model dark green Volkswagon Jetta came zooming up from out of nowhere and passed me on the right and then cut me off to get into the passing lane. I had to slam on my brakes to avoid her side-swiping me.

My initial reaction was anger. I went immediately to "road rage" and wanted to block her off so that she would be stuck going slow. "I'll show her!" I thought.

But then I took a breath.

Why was she going so fast? Was her mother in the hospital? Her child? Her best friend? Maybe she was late for a job interview and she desperately needs a job because she has a child at home to feed and rent to pay. Maybe her boyfriend just broke up with her. Maybe she just caught her spouse cheating on her.

I was immediately filled with empathy for this woman. No longer did I feel the need to block her off and piss her off. I just wished her a safe journey and peace at the end of that journey.

How many times have you reacted in anger? Is there some way you can stop yourself? Think of you in that situation. Change it up. Can you fill it with love instead of anger?

My husband was gone for the week. I missed him a lot. I used to only miss his help with the kids. This time I actually just missed HIM! I think we're finally at the point that we can start being a couple again instead of just being parents. It's a welcome shift in our relationship, that's for certain! sisters came to visit last night. I was disappointed that Caitlin didn't arrive at noon when she was supposed to, but understood. I enjoyed them a great deal. I was so impressed at how far Caitlin has come. It used to be a lot of work to have her here...I would be exhausted by the time she left from lifting her and carrying her. But now she does EVERYTHING by herself! I was able to concentrate on cooking for them, watching movies with them...enjoying them. I am so proud of her. I am moved to tears when I think about how far she's come. She's a spirited soul and I am thankful that she's my sister and thankful that she's alive.

Courtney and I talked a bit about her feelings about Caitlin always getting the attention. It's hard. I try to be mindful of it and not just offer Caitlin everything...but it's hard sometimes and I'm sure it's even harder for her...

and now I'm off to watch Harry Potter with Donny, Meka, Chloe and Jolee (Elvia did NOT nap today and is out for the count!)

Remember...change it up...anger to love

1 comment:

  1. Good for you...this world needs more love and kindness. GO LOVE