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Monday, March 22, 2010

finally...some art that fills MY heart!

I finally got my act together and spent the day making art that fed my soul. I had a wonderful morning watching my girls together...helping each other, encouraging each other...being friends. It filled my heart with such joy. I spent the day celebrating their friendship in my art. I enjoyed myself so much.

It's amazing how much time I spend planning for my business these days and how little time I spend creating art. It feeds my soul, yet I tend to put it aside because I have other stuff to get done. Silly.


Technically I'm done posting about my adventures in parenting...as far as the Beyond Consequences class is concerned, but I have this last post...well, it might not be the last, but it certainly pertains directly to the class material.

Last week Meka asked us if she could go to a friend's house and we said, "no." She pitched a fit and stormed inside. The next I heard from her, she exclaimed that she was going for a bike ride. I looked up and saw a note taped to the window so that I could see it from where I was working outside in the yard.

"Mommy and Daddy, I know you hate me and that you wish you'd never adopted me. I have gone for a bike ride."

OUCH! NOT TRUE!!!

But I did have a few moments to think about my response. She had not gone for a bike ride but was up in a tree in our yard. I calmly went over to her and said, "Honey, I saw your note. Wow...those are some pretty big feelings. You said in your note that you feel like daddy and I hate you. Is that true? Do you think we hate you?"

She started talking...talking about how we "show off" in front of her friends and that she really wanted to go over to her friends house...she talked and talked and talked. I was finally able to say to her, "honey, I know this is probably hard to hear, but I love you and am very thankful that I adopted you. I feel so blessed that the Universe has put you and I together. I was just telling a friend today how much I love and adore you. I know you probably can't believe that right now, and that's okay."

More was said...that's the cliff note version...but this stuff WORKS!!! I am trying so hard not to react!

Today Elvia was snuggling with me and Jolee came in to snuggle on my other side. Elvia was SO mad! Later on the way to school she said, "Sometimes people don't like me and you don't like me."

Instead of my OLD response of "oh, yes I do honey...you're wrong..." I calmly said, "Oh, Elvia, you feel like no one likes you. That must feel pretty yucky inside." Again, she talked and talked and talked and eventually, not long at all, started talking about playing at school.

Phew! I still have a long road, but it seems less bumpy lately!

g'night!

1 comment:

  1. I am impressed you are taking such positive steps to better yourself as a parent. Strong work Leslie!

    ReplyDelete