Friday, May 14, 2010

Frivolous Friday...

Why frivolous you ask? Because I have no assigned "tasks" at hand. I have been working steadily, but not really on any "must do" items. It's so refreshing!

I've baked muffins and blackberry squares for the school yard sale/bake sale tomorrow. I haven't baked in so long! It feels good and the house smells incredible!

I have a meeting for Meka at school today. We had a bunch of testing done to try to figure out what's going on for our little pumpkin pie. One pretty big thing that's happening for her is adoption stuff.

I am so thankful that I'm adopted so that I can talk to her and really understand how she feels. I do not feel threatened. I do not feel cast aside. I can FEEL what she's feeling because I have felt it, too.

She misses her birthmother, wants to see her. She wonders what she's like. Why she couldn't take care of Meka. What she's doing now. Whether she would like the person Meka is.

For any of  you who know Meka, the last concern is a non-issue to the rest of the world...but to Meka, it's paramount.

I struggle with my answers to her. I know how she feels, yet want to protect her as well. I'm not sure what kind of person her birthmother has become. Will it benefit her to meet her? What will that do to her sense of self? So many questions with no answers...

So for now I just listen. I encourage her to write letters to her birthparents. I assure her that she is a wonderful person and that they would fall in love with her. I explain to her that they didn't have good parents and therefore, couldn't BE good parents...but that she has good parents and so she won't make the same mistakes when she's a mom. It's all so hard and painful.

Not sure of my point...just wanted to share with other adoptive moms...or moms in general...that it's okay to talk about the stuff that scares you. It makes it less scary and it validates your child's feelings. They are not trying to hurt you. They are trying to heal themselves.

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