Monday, February 18, 2008

Almost finished blanket...

So here is the blanket that I promised an image of. It's not completed. I did edging around the outside of it and it looked darling once it was finished. I'm working on another one right now. The edging is a bit of a challenge, as the squares are all different sizes.

Here are a few photos of the girls last week during our shaving cream/finger painting escapade! It's times like these when I think that I'm doing a good job as a mom...when I actually think of fun, silly things for the kids to do and not worry about how much of a mess it will make. And a mess it DID make!

My good friend, Denise, told me about another messy activity to do with the girls...fill a bin with play sand and put it on a sheet. What fun! The girls played in the sand for at least an hour. When they were all done, I simply folded the sheet, shook the excess sand back into the bin and the mess was all cleaned up! A great sensory exercise!

This past weekend I traveled to Massachusetts to visit with my dear friend, Gina and to visit with my Aunt in the hospital. I had a wonderful time with Gina. It's amazing that we can be in such different places in life, but understand one another so perfectly. She's going through fertility crap and I ache for her. All of the feelings came rushing back to me while I was listening to her. The hatred for anyone who is pregnant or just had a baby. It's so irrational, but so real. I'm so glad I'm not there anymore. I still yearn for the experience of being pregnant and being in "the club," but know that 4 children would put me over the top, WAY over the top!

My Aunt...that's another story...

We had such a nice visit. It was so strange to be alone with her. We used to spend so much time together. I remember visiting with her when Donny and I had broken up and her offering me so much solace. I was so sad at the time. We would go for long walks and just talk, talk and talk. Of course, she scared me into becoming born-again and I went a little off the deep end of Christianity for a bit...but I found my way back to reality!

Anyway...the hospital visit was so good. We talked about the old together, playing all of the mom, her relationship with her children, how disappointed she is at the way life turned out. We talked about her she's not afraid, almost looking forward to what's coming next. It was such a good visit...but then she told me that she was sneaking wine into the hospital.

Why??? I just don't understand addiction. I have had my share of them...bulimia was nothing to sneeze at...but I KNEW the entire time that I had a problem. I was aware of what I was doing to myself. She is in complete denial. Here she is in the hospital, dying due to cirrhosis of the liver caused from drinking...and she's STILL drinking???!!?? It's like the person with emphysema who continues to smoke. I don't get it.

And then I did something that I'm still struggling with. I told the nurse. She thanked me for telling her and then told me that she had to address it. I was sorry that I had told her. Who am I to play God and tell my Aunt what she can and cannot do? I did it out of love, that goes without saying...but there are other parts of it as well. It's done and I have to live with it...but I have remorse.

Today it's raining. I am SO tired of winter!!! I want to run away to a deserted island with my family and never come back!!!

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